Josh Bell
In this week’s minor VOD releases, a futuristic Aladdin, a lung disease patient, and a rural handyman all act like entitled jerks, while U.S. marshals investigate strange happenings in 1960s Nevada.
Aladdin 3477: The Jinn of Wisdom (VOD January 3): Writer-director Matt Busch’s sci-fi take on the fable of Aladdin and the magic lamp makes Disney’s live-action version look like a cinematic masterpiece. The largely superfluous genie (Aaron Golematis) doesn’t even show up until more than an hour into this interminable two-hour movie, which is the opening chapter in a planned trilogy, thus ending with a coming-attractions reel rather than any plot resolution. Not that the plot makes much sense, aside from what can be gleaned from existing knowledge about the oft-adapted Aladdin story. Scrappy, smarmy thief Aladdin (Erik Steele) first encounters the rebellious Princess Kamala (Christi Dumar) when he surreptitiously records her bathing naked, but they otherwise never interact. Busch’s future dystopia is full of janky homemade props and costumes, plus even jankier CGI, but it’s not endearingly kitschy; it’s just ugly. The lengthy, repetitive chases and fight scenes drag out the running time, and the actors are equally unconvincing whether throwing punches or delivering stilted dialogue. Grade: D-
Smile as You Kill (VOD and DVD January 3): The businessman that the terminally ill Rico Allende (Rey Goyos) holds at gunpoint is an advertising executive rather than a healthcare CEO, but writer-director Michael Sarrow’s film still offers some timely resonance, even if it bungles most of its major ethical questions. Dying of a vaguely defined lung disease, Rico barges into the luxury apartment of creative director Terry Tanner (Michael Teh) and demands that Terry create an attention-grabbing crowdfunding campaign that will raise more than $200,000 for Rico’s necessary care within three days. As Terry points out, this is an essentially impossible task, but that doesn’t stop Rico or the movie, which becomes increasingly far-fetched even as Sarrow attempts to explore morally challenging themes. Goyos and Teh give solid performances in what is almost entirely a two-person, single-location effort, but there’s not enough narrative or thematic material to fill out the slim running time. The characters and the movie end up talking in circles, to rapidly diminishing effect. Grade: C
Dominoes (VOD January 7): Early in writer-director Hussein Hammouda’s ensemble dramedy, rideshare driver Mia (Jamie Schwarz) jokes about a passenger who hoped that their time together would resemble a talky Richard Linklater movie, and for a little while Dominoes captures an off-brand Linklater energy, with a structure that’s obviously indebted to Linklater’s indie classic Slacker. The first 25 minutes or so feature a series of wry interactions, with Mia as the closest that the movie comes to a main character. Once Hammouda introduces a dimensional portal in someone’s basement, though, Dominoes abandons its low-key hangout vibe for a tiresome contemplation of the cosmos, along the lines of another Linklater film, Waking Life. That’s a much tougher feat to pull off, and Hammouda is far better at crafting goofy set pieces (like a grown man arguing with his younger stepmother) than he is at saying anything profound. The segments in the second half get longer, but they don’t get any more rewarding. Grade: C
Black Diamond (VOD and select theaters January 10): There’s a classic noir set-up in this mostly engaging thriller from writer-director Judd Bloch. The beautiful Elena (Inbar Lavi) has abandoned her working-class background to become the trophy girlfriend of wealthy hedge-fund manager Spencer (Ray Panthaki), but she’s immediately drawn to the rugged charms of handyman Jesse (Jake McLaughlin) as he makes various improvements around their luxury Colorado ski cabin. Once Spencer points out the valuable painting on display in the living room, it’s only a matter of time before lust and greed get the better of Elena and Jesse. Bloch mixes familiar noir elements with the less sturdy trappings of a modern stalker B-movie, and his visual style is indistinguishable from typical rushed DTV productions. But all three lead performances are strong, and whenever the movie seems to be taking the easy route, Bloch introduces some surprisingly nuanced considerations of class, race, and gender. Those small distinctions keep Black Diamond ahead of its trashier, more forgettable counterparts. Grade: B-
Laws of Man (VOD and select theaters January 10): What starts out as a Cold War-era Western takes some wild and ill-advised turns, steering an already shaky thriller into complete incoherence. Writer-director Phil Blattenberger’s audacity would be impressive if he were able to pull off anything he’s aiming for, but he can’t even get good performances out of reliable veterans like Harvey Keitel and Dermot Mulroney. Keitel plays a mystical, possibly imaginary preacher who offers incomprehensible advice to straitlaced U.S. marshal Frank Fenton (Jacob Keohane), as Frank and his partner Tommy Morton (Jackson Rathbone) pursue a homicidal Nevada rancher (Mulroney). As the twisted villain, Mulroney does most of his overacting with his eyebrows, but at least he makes an impression. Keohane is out of his depth in the lead role, especially in the muddled, irrelevant flashbacks to Frank’s World War II battlefield trauma. Instead of building to a showdown between the upstanding marshals and the violent land baron, Laws of Man goes full-on conspiracy-theory mode for a climax that is as baffling as Keitel’s sermons. Grade: C-
