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Ten Number-Titled Movies That Are Sexier Than the Fifty Shades Films

Ten Number-Titled Movies That Are Sexier Than the Fifty Shades Films

Feb 8th, 2017 Rob Hunter
The sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey opens this weekend, and while you’d think Fifty Shades Darker than grey would be black it’s actually just the same white couple pretending to be kinky. They have their fans, and I’ll admit there are laughs to be found, but the movies aren’t nearly as sexy...
What to Expect in 2017-2025, According to Movies

What to Expect in 2017-2025, According to Movies

Feb 2nd, 2017 Michael Smith
We have begun a new era in American history. On Jan. 20, reality TV star, sexual-assault perpetrator, and all-around garbage human being Donald Trump was sworn in as President of the United States. The future has never looked so bleak! And so, in these uncertain times, we look to movies to show us...
A Memo from the Umbrella Corporation

A Memo from the Umbrella Corporation

Jan 26th, 2017 Brian Salisbury
To: Umbrella Corp Employees From: Albert Wesker CC: Infected Date: 1/27/17 Re: Sident Evil First off, I would like to issue my sincere thanks for your loyalty and dedication. This dedication is especially touching considering the recent, completely unfounded allegations that the Umbrella...
Presidential Movies, According to Amazon Users

Presidential Movies, According to Amazon Users

Jan 23rd, 2017 Jamie Flook
Donald Trump’s cameo in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York was the greatest ever appearance by a president, fictional or otherwise, by any actor in the history of cinema. Everyone agrees. I had a whole bunch of people look in to it and they all said Trump was the best, he has terrific ability and...
Eric D. Snider's 2017 Sundance Diary: Day 3-4

Eric D. Snider's 2017 Sundance Diary: Day 3-4

Jan 23rd, 2017 Eric D. Snider
Day 3: Saturday, Jan. 21 As you probably heard (unless Fox News is your only source of information), there were numerous large protest marches throughout the world today, as people took to the streets to register their dissatisfaction with the latest Underworld movie. No, I kid, it was about...
Eric D. Snider's 2017 Sundance Diary: Day 1-2

Eric D. Snider's 2017 Sundance Diary: Day 1-2

Jan 22nd, 2017 Eric D. Snider
Listen! Do you smell that? It's the Sundance Film Festival, back for another year of showcasing new independent films and terrorizing the helpless town of Park City, Utah. The mood is slightly muted this year, partly because there wasn't much pre-festival buzz about any of the films, partly...
Will Smith's Bad Choices: A Fake Oral History

Will Smith's Bad Choices: A Fake Oral History

Jan 5th, 2017 Jacob Oller
A few days ago, a picture from Will Smith’s upcoming film Bright surfaced. Smith is on set, smiling with a cop’s handlebar mustache and uniform with a medal draped over his chest. Next to him is a similarly-dressed being with mottled green-yellow skin and inhuman features. Yes, Smith’s new...
The Underworld Movies: What Is the Deal with Them?

The Underworld Movies: What Is the Deal with Them?

Jan 5th, 2017 Brian Salisbury
It’s a common problem. In fact, it happened to so many of you just last weekend. A quiet moment at a particularly raucous New Year’s Eve party created the perfect occasion for that familiar conversation. Your best friend rhetorically jabs: “So we’re all in agreement that Rise of the...
Your 2017 Movie Preview

Your 2017 Movie Preview

Jan 5th, 2017 Eric D. Snider
Exciting news, movie fans! Remember how there were movies in 2016? Well, if the rumors we're hearing are true, there are also going to be movies in 2017. A lot of them -- maybe even 30. To help prepare your body and mind for this eventuality, we have compiled a schedule of the highlights. All...
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