The sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey opens this weekend, and while you’d think Fifty Shades Darker than grey would be black it’s actually just the same white couple pretending to be kinky. They have their fans, and I’ll admit there are laughs to be found, but the movies aren’t nearly as sexy...

We have begun a new era in American history. On Jan. 20, reality TV star, sexual-assault perpetrator, and all-around garbage human being Donald Trump was sworn in as President of the United States. The future has never looked so bleak! And so, in these uncertain times, we look to movies to show us...

To: Umbrella Corp Employees From: Albert Wesker CC: Infected Date: 1/27/17 Re: Sident Evil First off, I would like to issue my sincere thanks for your loyalty and dedication. This dedication is especially touching considering the recent, completely unfounded allegations that the Umbrella...

Donald Trump’s cameo in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York was the greatest ever appearance by a president, fictional or otherwise, by any actor in the history of cinema. Everyone agrees. I had a whole bunch of people look in to it and they all said Trump was the best, he has terrific ability and...

Day 3: Saturday, Jan. 21 As you probably heard (unless Fox News is your only source of information), there were numerous large protest marches throughout the world today, as people took to the streets to register their dissatisfaction with the latest Underworld movie. No, I kid, it was about...

Listen! Do you smell that? It's the Sundance Film Festival, back for another year of showcasing new independent films and terrorizing the helpless town of Park City, Utah. The mood is slightly muted this year, partly because there wasn't much pre-festival buzz about any of the films, partly...

A few days ago, a picture from Will Smith’s upcoming film Bright surfaced. Smith is on set, smiling with a cop’s handlebar mustache and uniform with a medal draped over his chest. Next to him is a similarly-dressed being with mottled green-yellow skin and inhuman features. Yes, Smith’s new...

It’s a common problem. In fact, it happened to so many of you just last weekend. A quiet moment at a particularly raucous New Year’s Eve party created the perfect occasion for that familiar conversation. Your best friend rhetorically jabs: “So we’re all in agreement that Rise of the...

Exciting news, movie fans! Remember how there were movies in 2016? Well, if the rumors we're hearing are true, there are also going to be movies in 2017. A lot of them -- maybe even 30. To help prepare your body and mind for this eventuality, we have compiled a schedule of the highlights. All...