To: Umbrella Corp Employees From: Albert Wesker CC: Infected Date: 1/27/17 Re: Sident Evil First off, I would like to issue my sincere thanks for your loyalty and dedication. This dedication is especially touching considering the recent, completely unfounded allegations that the Umbrella Corporation literally murdered an entire facility full of workers in an effort […]
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Langston Hughes wrote, “What happens to a dream deferred / Does it dry up / Like a raisin in the sun / Or fester like a sore— / And then run?” The American dream came under fire last year by those who felt theirs had been deferred for too long. Hollywood was born on being […]
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Donald Trump’s cameo in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York was the greatest ever appearance by a president, fictional or otherwise, by any actor in the history of cinema. Everyone agrees. I had a whole bunch of people look in to it and they all said Trump was the best, he has terrific ability […]
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Day 3: Saturday, Jan. 21 As you probably heard (unless Fox News is your only source of information), there were numerous large protest marches throughout the world today, as people took to the streets to register their dissatisfaction with the latest Underworld movie. No, I kid, it was about Trump. Chelsea Handler helped organize a […]
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Listen! Do you smell that? It’s the Sundance Film Festival, back for another year of showcasing new independent films and terrorizing the helpless town of Park City, Utah. The mood is slightly muted this year, partly because there wasn’t much pre-festival buzz about any of the films, partly because Park City is a wintry hellscape, […]
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Perhaps, during the past 14 years, you’ve pondered what might have become of Xander Cage, the thick-necked, skateboarding slab played by Vin Diesel in 2002’s fun-but-dumb action flick xXx. If so, you’re in luck! A sequel has now arrived, for no earthly reason whatsoever, to answer that question! And to provide even more of the […]
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The concert film is a subgenre in a state of continuous, radical change, mainly because of the music it strives to capture. Merely documenting a great stage-show or a searing lead performance can be accomplished by recording the set with a phone, but the energy locked into the time and place of the venue is […]
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We live in weird times. Wherever you are on the political spectrum, you probably agree that the world has seen better days. Some people find a silver lining in the fact that great art is often born in the wake of perilous times — take the paranoid thrillers that followed Watergate, for example — but […]
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Here are two pairs of contrasting visions: CONTRAST 1: The dark amniotic encasement of a movie theater, surrounded by fellow cinematic worshipers, the screen ignited with vivid color and soaring music, ushering us into an artist’s salutary vision — versus sitting at home in front of a miniature, tube-based “screen,” across which play undernourished time-filler […]
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Since he burst onto the independent film scene in 1994 with Clerks, profanity-prone writer/director Kevin Smith has more or less stayed on brand. With few exceptions, his films revolve around verbose slackers in varied states of arrested development – almost literally in the case of his debut’s breakout characters, the drug-dealing duo of Jay and […]
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Patriots Day tries to give audiences great value: three movies for the price of one. It starts by telling the personal stories of people affected by the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings: victims, police, folks suddenly entangled in the criminals’ escape. The bombing itself briefly drives the movie into the realm of realistic horror. Afterward, a […]
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In October 2013, I lost my battle with a liver disease known as PSC, primary sclerosing cholangitis. It causes the bile ducts to swell up, and sometimes swell shut, which turns the body into a giant clogged toilet. When that happens, your skin turns yellow and your eyes do a great impression of Michael Jackson […]
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