{"id":10102,"date":"2018-08-28T07:00:27","date_gmt":"2018-08-28T11:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/?p=10102"},"modified":"2019-01-12T14:43:49","modified_gmt":"2019-01-12T19:43:49","slug":"pitches-we-rejected-in-summer-2018","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/pitches-we-rejected-in-summer-2018\/","title":{"rendered":"Pitches We Rejected in Summer 2018"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here at Crooked Marquee, we are open to pitches<\/a> from all writers, regardless of experience. Why, the number of pitches we get per week must be somewhere around [number that sounds impressive but plausible]! Many of these ideas are excellent, but a few bad ones slip through, too. Here’s a sampling of some of the pitches we rejected this summer.<\/p>\n

Rejected Articles from Summer 2018<\/h2>\n

Ant-Man and the Wasp<\/em> Reviewed by an Aunt, a Man, and a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant<\/p>\n

Blue Is the Warmest Raptor: The Rise of Erotic Jurassic World<\/em> Fiction<\/p>\n

What If They Remade Ocean’s 8<\/em> but with Men?<\/p>\n

How Hereditary<\/em> Helped Me Overcome My Fear of Being Decapitated by a Telephone Pole<\/p>\n

On Slender Man<\/em>‘s Offensive Portrayal of Slim People<\/p>\n

OK, I Give Up: Will Someone Tell Me What ‘MoviePass’ Is?<\/p>\n

Other Pixar Shorts That Should Have Been About a Mother Eating Her Son<\/p>\n

How Disney History Would Be Different If They’d Always Let White Supremacists Make Their Decisions for Them Instead of Just Starting Now<\/p>\n

We Asked a Racist to Fact-Check BlacKkKlansman<\/em><\/p>\n

An Interview with the Lesser Demon Who Cursed Will Arnett to Be in Show Dogs<\/em><\/p>\n

There Was an Overboard<\/em> Remake. Remember That??<\/p>\n

They’re Crazy Rich — But Are They Asian Enough? An Investigation<\/p>\n

A Complete List of Everything Denzel Washington Has Equalized<\/p>\n

Why Thanos’ Finger Snap is Gay Cultural Appropriation<\/p>\n

What The Meg<\/em> Gets Wrong — and Right — About People Named Meg<\/p>\n

Why You Won’t See the Deleted Nude Scenes from Won’t You Be My Neighbor?<\/em> on DVD, Either<\/p>\n

Just How Flexible is Elasti-Girl? An Inappropriate Investigation<\/p>\n

Meet the Sack of Wet Bananas That Wrote Bad Samaritan<\/em><\/p>\n

We Launch a Feud with Other Movie Sites, Starting with Those Bastards at Film School Rejects<\/p>\n

Theory: Hereditary<\/em> Is Actually a Stealth Prequel to The Joker<\/em><\/p>\n

10 Mental Illnesses Christopher Robin Had Besides Hearing Stuffed Animals Talk<\/p>\n

100 Kooky Things the Extra ‘K’ in BlacKkKlansman<\/em> Might Stand For<\/p>\n

Let’s Point and Laugh at the Ghostbusters<\/em> Man-Babies Again, Just for Fun<\/p>\n

How Every Movie Is a Commentary on Trump If You’re Desperate Enough for Content<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here at Crooked Marquee, we are open to pitches from all writers, regardless of experience. Why, the number of pitches […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":10104,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1381,336],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-movies","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/92"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10102"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10102\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}