{"id":10694,"date":"2018-12-04T05:00:27","date_gmt":"2018-12-04T10:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/?p=10694"},"modified":"2019-01-12T14:39:07","modified_gmt":"2019-01-12T19:39:07","slug":"raw-eggs-bouncy-balls-and-why-we-love-rocky-balboa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/raw-eggs-bouncy-balls-and-why-we-love-rocky-balboa\/","title":{"rendered":"Raw Eggs, Bouncy Balls, and Why We Love Rocky Balboa"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every year, I revisit my favorite film franchise, Rocky<\/i>. Every year, I\u2019m questioned by those around me why I feel the need to do so.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do you feel the need to watch the same 14 hours of content every year?\u201d my girlfriend would say.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t today\u2019s America a little too complicated for this sort of macho jingoism?\u201d my uppity roommate would say, peeking up from her Instagram.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do you order so much turtle food?\u201d the UPS guy would say.<\/span><\/p>\n

Surprisingly, I only had an answer to one of those questions. I know why I <\/i>love Rocky Balboa \u2014the dopey earnestness, his love for Adrian, the vigor of every punch thrown \u2014 but I couldn\u2019t immediately explain our ongoing fascination with the character and his longevity in our culture. Leave it to a magical ball and too much dairy to help shine a light.<\/span><\/p>\n

As I was taking my first morning gulp of raw eggs and queueing up Rocky V<\/i>, my front door flung open and in bounced a black, rubber ball, not dissimilar to Rocky\u2019s favorite stress-relieving toy. The ball took a sharp right turn, almost as if pushed by an invisible hand, and landed on my couch. I stared at the ball for a second, consumed the rest of my raw eggs, and grabbed it.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a snap I was someplace where it was sweaty, congested, and brimming with shouts and bright snaps. I looked up and saw Rocky Balboa seated at a long table in front of me, beaten to a pulp and cradling Adrian in his right arm. This wasn\u2019t today\u2019s Rocky Balboa either \u2014 it was Rocky Balboa circa 1976, just after a knockdown, drag-out fight with Apollo Creed. There were what looked to be reporters all around me, shouting questions at the man who just went 12 rounds with the Heavyweight Champ.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, yo, kid. How ya doin\u2019?\u201d said Rocky Balboa. I looked around and then up in front of me where Rocky had his non-swollen eye trained on me. \u201cI think you got a question,\u201d he said.<\/span><\/p>\n

I wanted to ask about the pure logistics of this scenario \u2014 look, I\u2019d been eating a dozen raw eggs and watching six hours of Rocky<\/i> per day for the past week. I\u2019d say a possible salmonella-driven psychotic break explained itself \u2014 but I knew why I was here.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do you fight, Rocky, and why do we still care?\u201d I asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBecause someone had to. I figured, and my figuring don\u2019t get too complicated, but I figured that if I wasn\u2019t going to take this fight, then what was I gonna do? Bang on a pot for a nickel? I don\u2019t know about you but I ain\u2019t too good with askin\u2019 for things. Bangin\u2019 on things on the other hand, well I figured I\u2019d just do what I\u2019m good at,\u201d said Rocky. \u201cAnd I hope you still care. I only got out of the ring five minutes ago.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The rest of the press pool howled with laughter as I looked down and saw that black, bouncy ball coming right for me yet again. I grabbed it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I snapped into a place that was somehow louder, somehow sweatier, and somehow more menacing than the Rocky<\/i> press pool. Thousands of people all around me chanted \u201cROCKY! ROCKY!\u201d I was being mobbed by people pouring in over boxing ring ropes. In the center of the ring stood an American flag-draped Rocky Balboa, again beaten to a pulp but this time triumphant.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEverybody can change,\u201d said Rocky into a microphone. As the crowd went bananas around me, Rocky shook loose of the swarm and stumbled over toward me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa, kid. You haven\u2019t aged a day. What concoction are you on?\u201d asked Rocky.<\/span><\/p>\n

At this point, I was just along for the ride. I stifled down \u201cconcoction\u201d questions of my own. \u201cI don\u2019t think we\u2019ve changed, Rock,\u201d I said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell that\u2019s why you keep comin\u2019 here, right? To remember that we can,\u201d said Rocky.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a character. These aren\u2019t real things. Believe me, if you saw Russia and the U.S. forty years from now, this would seem\u2026 quaint.\u201d I said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s as real as you feel, kid. Way I see it, America\u2019s sort of a feeling. And you feel it, don\u2019t ya?\u201d said Rocky. He winked his good eye at me and walked away. I made my way to the corner of the ring where a defeated Ivan Drago was still slumped over on a stool.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTrain your son,\u201d I said to Drago. He looked up at me in a daze as I exited the ring.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I got to the bottom of the steps, I was face to face with Paulie\u2019s favorite companion \u2014 his robot. It stretched out its \u201chand\u201d and placed into my palm that black bouncy ball. The robot waved longingly as I snapped away.<\/span><\/p>\n

I came to in a calm, cold, green and grey place. \u201cHey, kid. I swear you gotta tell me about that concoction. Or maybe don\u2019t. I think I\u2019ve had enough of those. Grab a chair from that tree over there,\u201d said Rocky Balboa, circa today, seated in front of a concrete gravestone that read \u201cADRIAN BALBOA.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I grabbed the chair from the tree and set it next to Rocky. \u201cThis is where I cry, every single time,\u201d I said, already disguising tears with furious blinks.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSheesh, kid. Buck up a little, yeah? You\u2019re so glum, I don\u2019t get it,\u201d said Rocky.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAfter all of this. Everything you\u2019ve been through. You don\u2019t really have much anymore. What makes you move forward?\u201d I said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean? I\u2019ve still got everything. I\u2019ve got these two,\u201d he said as he motioned toward Adrian\u2019s and his friend Paulie\u2019s graves. \u201cI\u2019ve got these,\u201d he said, holding up his fists. \u201cAnd I\u2019ve got this,\u201d Rocky said as he patted his left breast. \u201cI\u2019m not sure what else you need. Spaghetti is nice every now and then,\u201d said Rocky.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEven in my hallucinations you make me cry, Rock,\u201d I said.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, as you change, as this world changes, so will I. But I\u2019ll always be here to tell ya to get back in the ring and keep punchin\u2019,\u201d Rocky said as he removed a black, bouncy ball from his jacket pocket.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHere you go, kid. Time to lay off the raw eggs, yeah?\u201d said Rocky as he bounced the ball toward me. I grabbed the rubber ball and snapped away from wherever I was.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWait, I need to know about the robot\u2026\u201d I trailed off as I saw Rocky\u2019s slack-jawed looked of approval fade away.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was back on my couch, sun coming in through the blinds and warming my face. The glass of raw eggs in front of me was broken and splashed across the floor. Egg yolk was splattered across my mouth and chest and I realized that my girlfriend was on top of me, attempting CPR.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKeep punching!\u201d I said, choking up globs of yolk. I rose from the couch, too excited to wipe myself off. I was brimming with confidence, in pure, unadulterated American fighting spirit. I could feel the passion in my eyes. \u201cThat\u2019s why America needs Rocky. He reminds us not to quit! It\u2019s that simple!\u201d I stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed two travel mugs and a fresh carton of eggs from the fridge. \u201cGet the keys, we\u2019re going to the movies!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

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Every year, I revisit my favorite film franchise, Rocky. Every year, I\u2019m questioned by those around me why I feel […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":555,"featured_media":10696,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1381,1399],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10694","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-movies","category-looking-back"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10694","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/555"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10694"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10694\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10694"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10694"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10694"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}