From the free, ad-supported expanse of Tubi to the curated streaming service of arthouse theater Metrograph, this week\u2019s low-profile VOD offerings include a George Romero rip-off, a Hurley family fiasco, and a would-be Oscar contender from the Netherlands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Strictly Confidential<\/em><\/strong> (VOD and select theaters April 5):<\/strong> It takes a special kind of son to write and direct a movie featuring his mother in cleavage-baring dresses, engaged in steamy makeout sessions with a much younger actress. Potential Oedipal issues aside, Damian Hurley\u2019s debut feature is a dismal, suspense-free thriller, full of vapid characters spouting inane dialogue. Set on the islands of Saint Kitts and Nevis and shot like a promotional tourism video, Strictly Confidential<\/em> stars Hurley\u2019s mother Elizabeth as Lily, who\u2019s invited the friends of her late daughter Rebecca (Lauren McQueen) for a weeklong getaway on the one-year anniversary of Rebecca\u2019s supposed death by drowning. Everyone is keeping dark secrets, and Rebecca\u2019s best friend Mia (Georgia Lock) is determined to discover the truth. That leads to the world\u2019s most obvious, overused twist, along with several laughable sub-twists that take the movie into the realm of cheesy nighttime soaps. The characters lounge around in incongruously fancy outfits, like they\u2019re modeling for a catalog, and even the sex scenes are overly posed and lifeless. Grade: D<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Festival of the Living Dead<\/em><\/strong> (Tubi April 5):<\/strong> The public domain status of George Romero\u2019s Night of the Living Dead<\/em> has led to numerous unofficial sequels, remakes, and spinoffs, most of them worthless. Indie horror mainstays Jen and Sylvia Soska start out with an intriguing idea in their bootleg sequel, integrating scenes from the original movie along with actual historical footage during an opening montage. That helps sell the idea that the 1968 zombie attack was a real-life tragedy, treated with the same mix of solemnity and exploitation as something like 9\/11. What follows, though, is an entirely generic, forgettable zombie movie set at a music festival, with only cursory ties to Romero\u2019s classic (the festival allegedly commemorates the attack). The Soskas do their best to stage a zombie-themed Coachella on a Tubi budget, but the action remains thin and repetitive, with annoying characters who make dumb decisions. Rather than directly engaging with Romero\u2019s legacy, the movie plunders it for cheap thrills, trading innovation for tiresome imitation. Grade: C<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The Wild<\/em> (VOD April 9):<\/strong> There are so many double- and triple-crosses in this interminable, convoluted Korean crime thriller that it\u2019s impossible to keep track of who\u2019s betraying whom, let alone care about the outcome. Director Kim Bong-han starts with a fairly basic set-up, as former boxer Song Woo-cheol (Park Sung-woong) is released from prison after serving seven years for accidentally killing an opponent in the ring. Woo-cheol tells his old friend Jang Do-sik (Oh Dae-hwan) that he just wants to live a quiet life, but he\u2019s immediately drawn back into Do-sik\u2019s criminal empire, thanks to his affection for prostitute Choi Myeong-joo (Seo Ji-hye). Many, many overwrought plot developments follow, ultimately converging on a drug deal between Do-sik and a gang of North Korean defectors. Park conveys Woo-cheol\u2019s quiet decency and honor, but there\u2019s no chemistry in the central romance, and no sense of tragic inevitability to the confusing, violence-filled climax. Lots of people get stabbed, but none of it makes any impact. Grade: C<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n