{"id":6796,"date":"2017-03-22T13:38:16","date_gmt":"2017-03-22T17:38:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/?p=6796"},"modified":"2018-06-28T13:38:19","modified_gmt":"2018-06-28T17:38:19","slug":"acronym-titles-ranked-according-to-how-fun-they-are-to-say-aloud","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/acronym-titles-ranked-according-to-how-fun-they-are-to-say-aloud\/","title":{"rendered":"Acronym Titles Ranked According to How Fun They Are to Say Aloud"},"content":{"rendered":"

One of this weekend\u2019s most anticipated new movies \u2014 or to put it more accurately, this week\u2019s most anticipated new movie about motorcycle-riding police officers in California \u2014 is CHiPs<\/i> (Cannibalistic Humanoid Police). The film stars world-renowned funnyman and husband to Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard, who also directed, wrote, and produced the film. We haven\u2019t seen the movie yet, but we\u2019re already plenty excited for obvious reasons. Co-lead <\/span>Michael Pe\u00f1a is clearly the number-one reason, and the nostalgia factor for those of us over a certain age comes in at number two, but somewhere down the list there\u2019s also the simple pleasure that comes with movies that have acronyms for titles.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m speaking specifically of ones meant to be spoken as a word, of course, as there\u2019s obviously very little fun to be found in titles like S.F.W.<\/i> or JFK<\/i>. \u201cSuffwa\u201d? \u201cJaffk\u201d? That\u2019s nonsense and we\u2019re not having it. Instead we\u2019re here to look at the best acronym titles in regard to both how enjoyable they are to speak and the creative effort that went into their naming.<\/span><\/p>\n

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9. D.E.B.S.<\/i> (2004)<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a>As a Catholic-school survivor, I\u2019ve long been on record as saying that the fetishization of schoolgirls in plaid skirts has gotten out of control. More often than not it\u2019s either non-existent or pushed to the opposite extreme in unsavory ways \u2014 but where does that leave those of us who just like watching teenage girls break evil henchmen\u2019s neck? D.E.B.S.<\/i> understands and fills that need with a title that rolls off the tongue with implications of organized sass and femininity. The acronym stands for \u201c<\/span>Discipline Energy Beauty Strength<\/span>\u201d which is maybe a bit underwhelming despite being cool for young girls who want to grow up to be spies.<\/span><\/p>\n

8. F.I.S.T.<\/i> (1978)<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a>It may stand for \u201cFederated Inter-State Truckers,\u201d but the image you get in your head while saying \u201cfist\u201d is one of powerfully clenched phalanges working in unison to fight organized crime and support independent unions across this great nation of ours. It sounds like it looks, and while I hesitate to make this a learning experience for you, I think that\u2019s an example of onomatopoeia. Don\u2019t worry about Googling that. Just trust me. Close your eyes, picture a fist, and feel those pro-union vibes coursing through you. And that my friend, is onomatopoeia.<\/span><\/p>\n

7. D.A.R.Y.L. <\/i>(1985)<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a>There\u2019s nothing smooth about \u201c<\/span>Data Analysing Robot Youth Lifeform,<\/span>\u201d but you have to respect a screenwriter who creates a robot boy and doesn\u2019t just name it something simple like Sam (Synthetic Anthropoid Machine) or Niche (Number Crunching Humanoid Extrapolator). They fit a lot into the acronym, with each word feeling authentic in its purpose, and that\u2019s no small feat despite its clunkiness.<\/span><\/p>\n

6. H.O.T.S.<\/i> (1979)<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a>Don\u2019t dismiss this entry simply because it\u2019s a T&A-filled college comedy from the \u201870s. H.O.T.S. is the name of a sorority in the film, and you\u2019d expect lazy filmmakers to have it stand for Hottie Omega Theta Sisters or Hands Off These Shakers. You\u2019d be wrong ,though, because behind the film\u2019s sexist script and abundance of naked female flesh is the sweetly empowering realization that the acronym actually stands for the four friends at the center of the story: Honey, O\u2019Hara, Teri, and Sam. Isn\u2019t that beautiful?<\/span><\/p>\n

5. MILF<\/i> (2010)<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a>I haven\u2019t seen this movie and have no idea what it stands for, but come on. How fun is it saying \u201cmilf\u201d?<\/span><\/p>\n

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4. K-9<\/i> (1989)<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a>To clarify right off the bat, this is not the movie where Tom Hanks is a cop partnered with an unruly but ultimately lovable canine partner. This is the movie where James Belushi is a cop partnered with an unruly but ultimately lovable canine partner. It\u2019s also the better of the two if I\u2019m being honest, despite Belushi\u2019s presence, and if you search your own heart you\u2019ll know that to be true. But I digress. While the rest of the titles on this list form words, or approximations thereof, this one takes the unique step of using just two characters to create the sound of a relevant word. That\u2019s some Hollywood genius right there.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. C.H.O.M.P.S.<\/i> (1979)<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a>Not only is this acronym fun to say, it\u2019s also only the second on the list to work as a verb. (I\u2019ll wait while you find the other one.) Credit is also due for the sheer ballsiness required to claim this is the acronym for \u201cCanine Home Protection System.\u201d Exempting an article or adding a vowel is one thing, but neither the O nor the M actually stand for a damn thing! Still, dogs bite, so it reigns supreme in dog-related acronyms for now, and I don\u2019t see that changing anytime soon. Or at least not until we get the long-rumored Cujo<\/i> reboot, and no I\u2019m not making this up<\/span><\/a>, called CUJO: Canine Unit Joint Operations<\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. B.A.P.S.<\/i> (1997)<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a>Halle Berry and Martin Landau as \u201cBlack American Princesses\u201d is all the info you really need to care about this movie, but the pull of the clever title can\u2019t be denied. See, it\u2019s like JAPs but without the potentially misconstrued racial insensitivity. Does that count as irony? Probably not. But it\u2019s still a witty turn of phrase and a fun thing to say. Baps. Baps. Ba-sorry, it\u2019s come to my attention that I may have read the film\u2019s IMDB page<\/span><\/a> incorrectly. Natalie Desselle Reid plays the second BAP, not Martin Landau. My apologies.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. C.H.U.D. <\/i>(1984)<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/a>You knew this would be number one. And you know why. No, it\u2019s not because \u201cchud\u201d sounds like \u201ccud\u201d and who doesn\u2019t like saying \u201ccud\u201d? Well, not only because of that. This one earns the top spot because it\u2019s the only acronym featuring two wholly different in-film explanations of what it means. Officially it stands for <\/span>“Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal,”<\/span> but for our hero John Heard and the street people being turned into dinner, it also means <\/span>“Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller.” Two different meanings, and they didn\u2019t repeat a single word! That\u2019s grammatical dedication, and it deserves your respect.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Rob Hunter<\/a> lives in California, is a P.O.S.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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