{"id":7613,"date":"2017-07-21T03:25:54","date_gmt":"2017-07-21T07:25:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crookedscoreboard.com\/?p=7613"},"modified":"2018-06-28T13:35:44","modified_gmt":"2018-06-28T17:35:44","slug":"dunkirk-valerian-girls-trip-how-to-tell-the-difference","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/dunkirk-valerian-girls-trip-how-to-tell-the-difference\/","title":{"rendered":"Dunkirk<\/i> vs. Valerian<\/i> vs. Girls Trip<\/i>: How to Tell the Difference"},"content":{"rendered":"

Going to the movies can be overwhelming these days, in whatever year this is. There are so many choices! This weekend alone there are three big films opening in wide release: Christopher Nolan’s World War II drama Dunkirk<\/i>; Luc Besson’s space fantasy adventure Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets<\/i>; and Malcolm D. Lee’s raunch-com Girls Trip<\/i>. How can a discerning moviegoer tell them apart? Don’t fret, amigo; here is a handy guide.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dunkirk<\/i> vs. Valerian<\/i> vs. Girls Trip<\/i>: <\/b><\/span><\/h3>\n

How to Tell the Difference<\/b><\/span><\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Inspired by a French comic book: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Inspired by a French military defeat: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Inspired by Le Hangover<\/em>: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You see mostly white men: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

You see mostly black women: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

You see humans and aliens of all shapes and colors, which includes three black people: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Rihanna:\u00a0Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Queen Latifah:\u00a0Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Harry Styles: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Features a convincing performance by a major pop star: n\/a<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

German bombs: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

F-bombs: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Box office bomb: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Lots of shooting: Valerian<\/i>, Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Lots of shots: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You could picture two of the main characters being in love, even though they aren’t: Dunkirk<\/i>, Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

You cannot picture the two main characters being in love, even though they are: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A planet is destroyed: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

A ship is destroyed: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

A booty is destroyed: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The message is that friendship is the most important thing: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

The message is that all creatures should be able to live in harmony: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

The message is that you’re lucky to be alive even one more miserable day on this nightmare planet: Dunkirk<\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Depicts men on a French beach being sprayed with bullets: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Depicts men in the French Quarter being sprayed with urine: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s empowering to women: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

It tells a true story that didn’t involve many women: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

It removes the woman’s name from the comic book it’s based on: Valerian<\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Has a character who can look like anyone: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Has characters who all look like this: <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

May remind you of The Fifth Element<\/i>: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

May remind you of the fifth Tyler Perry movie: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Will probably be in the conversation at Oscar season: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Will probably be in the $5.99 bin at Best Buy: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Action centered on breakwaters made of stone: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Action centered on leading man made of stone: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Has an actor who talks like Keanu: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Has an actress who was in Keanu<\/i>: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

May rekindle thoughts of old friends: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

May rekindle an old interest in sci-fi: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

May rekindle an old hatred of Germans: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Is now showing in multiple formats: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Will soon be showing on multiple airplanes: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Will probably be shown in an angry Fox News segment: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Your grandparents may remember it: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Your grandparents would be baffled by it: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Your grandparents had laws prohibiting it: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Shows human life being wasted: Dunkirk<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Shows people getting wasted: Girls Trip<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Shows money being wasted: Valerian<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

Eric D. Snider<\/a> lives in Portland, will never get these three movies confused again.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Going to the movies can be overwhelming these days, in whatever year this is. There are so many choices! This […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":7627,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[336,1381,1400],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-movies","category-on-the-marquee"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7613","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/92"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7613"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7613\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7613"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7613"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7613"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}