{"id":7875,"date":"2017-08-22T17:00:57","date_gmt":"2017-08-22T21:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/?p=7875"},"modified":"2018-06-28T13:35:09","modified_gmt":"2018-06-28T17:35:09","slug":"movie-articles-we-rejected-this-summer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/movie-articles-we-rejected-this-summer\/","title":{"rendered":"Movie Articles We Rejected This Summer"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Crooked Marquee stands proudly as one of the top 100,000 U.S.-based movie websites on the Internet. As you can imagine, with credentials like those, we get thousands of story pitches from freelance writers. Many of their ideas are insightful and original, but some just aren’t what we’re looking for. Would you like some examples of the latter category? You would? Ugh, hang on. Let me see what I can dig up.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

Rejected Articles from Summer 2017 <\/span><\/h2>\n


\nYes, You Can Get an Infection: What Girls Trip<\/i>\u00a0Gets Wrong About Booty Holes <\/span><\/p>\n

We Asked a Real Transforming Car to Fact-Check Transformers: The Last Knight<\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

Other Michael Fassbender Movies Where He Should Have Made Out with Himself <\/span><\/p>\n

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets<\/i>: A List of Their Names <\/span><\/p>\n

10 Dead Men Who Did Tell Tales <\/span><\/p>\n

Using Science to Prove The Mummy<\/i> Is Not Technically a Movie <\/span><\/p>\n

We Don’t Just Want to Know Where Baby Cars Come From —\u00a0We Want to See Cars Doin’ It <\/span><\/p>\n

What Snatched<\/i>\u00a0Teaches Us About the Dangers of Associating with Amy Schumer <\/span><\/p>\n

Meet the Plank of Wood That Doubles as Charlie Hunnam’s Stand-In <\/span><\/p>\n

A Men’s Rights Activist Responds to The Beguiled<\/i> Using Only Emojis <\/span><\/p>\n

What Detroit<\/i> Gets Wrong About People’s Interest in Watching a Grim 143-Minute Movie About Racism in the Middle of Summer <\/span><\/p>\n

Caesar’s Phallus: Why Don’t the Apes Have Genitals? <\/span><\/p>\n

Other Casey Affleck Movies Where He Should Have Been Covered with a Sheet <\/span><\/p>\n

The Dark Tower<\/i> Proves It: Books Are Dumb <\/span><\/p>\n

‘When Is It My Turn?’ An Interview with the Lower Half of Tom Hardy’s Face <\/span><\/p>\n

[Untitled 800-Word Piece Making Fun of Ansel Elgort’s Name] <\/span><\/p>\n

Meet Your New Queer Icon: Brigsby Bear <\/span><\/p>\n

What Rough Night<\/i> Gets Wrong About Hiding a Body <\/span><\/p>\n

Why Guardians of the Galaxy<\/i>‘s Mary Poppins Joke Is Racist <\/span><\/p>\n

Unpacking the Cultural Appropriation of Despicable Me 3<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Dunkirk: Real Place? An Investigation <\/span><\/p>\n

The Satanic Ritual That Led to The Emoji Movie<\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Eric D. Snider<\/a> lives with rejection in Portland.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Crooked Marquee stands proudly as one of the top 100,000 U.S.-based movie websites on the Internet. As you can imagine, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":92,"featured_media":7877,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[336,1381],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7875","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-movies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7875","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/92"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7875"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7875\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7875"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7875"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crookedmarquee.com\/stage8\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7875"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}