Scientists predict that many films will be released in 2018, continuing a trend that has endured since the beginning of cinema, well over 10 years ago. What will some of these movies be? They will be these!<\/p>\n
1\/12 Paddington 2<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Everyone’s second or third favorite talking bear returns. (Interesting note: in England, a “bear” is a member of the Ursidae family of animals, not a large hairy gay man.)<\/p>\n 2\/9 Fifty Shades Freed<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Anastasia gets pregnant; Christian makes the fetus sign consent forms in utero.<\/p>\n 2\/16 Black Panther<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 After making movies where the superheroes were aliens, demons, gods, billionaires, and scientists, Marvel decides it’s finally safe to make one where they’re black.<\/p>\n 3\/2 Death Wish<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Bruce Willis becomes a criminal-killing vigilante after an attack on his family. I’m old enough to remember when someone in his situation would just take out three billboards.<\/p>\n 3\/9 A Wrinkle in Time<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Youths cavort through time and space — probably looking for Pokemons, amirite? Anyway, Oprah is involved.<\/p>\n 3\/9 Gnome Alone<\/em>; 3\/23 Sherlock Gnome<\/em>s<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 There are two animated films about garden gnomes coming out in March, thanks to the Trump administration’s rolling back of job-killing anti-pun cartoon regulations. #MAGA<\/p>\n 3\/16 Tomb Raider<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Not-Angelina Jolie stars in this reboot of not-Indiana Jones, based on the not-Frogger video games.<\/p>\n 3\/23 Pacific Rim Uprising<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Giant monsters fight each other.<\/p>\n 3\/30 Ready Player One<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 At last, someone has made a movie containing references to the obscure decade of “the 1980s.”<\/p>\n 4\/20 Rampage<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Giant monsters fight each other.<\/p>\n 5\/4 Avengers: Infinity War<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Superheroes fight each other.<\/p>\n 5\/25 Solo: A Star Wars Story<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Presumably we’ll find out how young Han Solo met Chewbacca, how he got that scar, why he hates snakes, etc.<\/p>\n 6\/1 Deadpool 2<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Superheroes fight each other while swearing.<\/p>\n 6\/8 Ocean’s 8<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 An octet of women plan a heist EVEN THOUGH none of the women are men.<\/p>\n 6\/15 Incredibles 2<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Here’s hoping the plot is about superheroes living in a world where everyone’s tired of superhero movies.<\/p>\n 6\/22 Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 The pitch: “OK, I know the dinosaurs get loose every time, but hear me out. What if THIS time the dinosaurs ALSO get loose, again?”<\/p>\n 7\/6 Ant-Man and the Wasp<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 That’s “wasp” as in a lady who can shrink to the size of a bug and fly around, not White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. That would be ridiculous.<\/p>\n 7\/13 Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Someone tell Netflix that Adam Sandler has escaped the quarantine.<\/p>\n 7\/20 Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 The sequel promises to include more of your favorite ABBA songs– what’s that? Every ABBA song you like was already in the first one? Ha ha, sucks to be you.<\/p>\n 9\/21 Robin Hood<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 A do-gooder tries to help poor people, in what Paul Ryan is already calling the scariest movie of the year.<\/p>\n 10\/19 Halloween<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Laurie Strode and Michael Myers celebrate 40 years of killing each other. Laurie and Michael: the Itchy and Scratchy of slasher movies.<\/p>\n 10\/19 Mowgli<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 They changed the title so you wouldn’t think it’s just another Jungle Book, but it’s just another Jungle Book.<\/p>\n 11\/2 X-Men: Dark Phoenix<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 With almost 30 minutes having passed since the last X-Men movie, it was urgent that another be rushed into production. This one’s about the time there was a blackout in Arizona.<\/p>\n 11\/16 Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Well, let’s see, he beat up his girlfriend, he assaulted a security guard, he made a fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie…<\/p>\n 12\/21 Aquaman<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 The fourth most interesting character in the franchise gets his own spinoff.<\/p>\n 12\/21 Bumblebee: The Movie<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 Ditto.<\/p>\n 12\/28 Mary Poppins Returns<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 And she’s pissed!<\/em><\/p>\n