As I am writing this, You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah will be on Netflix in a mere couple days. After viewing it, I’m kind of baffled why Netflix held out on letting critics see what is an essentially adorable (or adorkable – whichever one you prefer) story of a middle-school girl going through all sorts of personal turmoil before her big bat mitzvah.
Something tells me it might have something to do with Adam Sandler. Not only did his Happy Madison Productions produce, he plays the father of protagonist, Stacy, who is also played by his real-life daughter Sunny Sandler. In fact, the whole Sandler clan is featured: Older sister Sadie Sandler plays Stacy’s big sis Ronnie, while matriarch Jackie Sandler plays the mom of Sunny’s best friend (Samantha Lorraine). Idina Menzel, who played Sandler’s long-suffering wife in Uncut Gems, plays his less-suffering wife in this one.
Yes, it is a nepo-baby extravaganza, with big daddy Adam taking a leisurely backseat (he plays his old man as someone who’d rather die than wear a suit – much like Sandler himself) while one of his own is front and center. I have a feeling that the elder Sandler may have wanted to shield his kids from any negative criticism (especially from those who’ve had it in for him ever since he began his streak as the king of successful, dumb-ass comedies) before the movie came out. Given how Netflix has been a platform that has let Sandler do whatever, whether it’s silly comedies or dramas that actually show off his skills as a seasoned actor, he might have been concerned that people might see this as a Sandler family home movie.
As someone who gives celebrity offspring a chance if they actually come with the goods, I was impressed by young Sunny, who goes through an emotional tailspin as she and her BFF try to come up with the best bat mitzvahs. Things get out of whack when her pal starts mingling with the popular crowd and an embarrassing situation in front of her crush (Dylan Hoffman) has her feeling humiliated. Things get even worse when her pal ends up dating her crush, which sends Stacy on the warpath. She not only disinvites her to her bat mitzvah (hence the title), but does some nefarious shit like spread a rumor about her ex-bestie and try to break up their courtship by volunteering at the same old folks’ home her crush goes to see his grandma.
Based on the 2005 YA novel by Amanda Stern (writing under the pseudonym Fiona Rosenbloom), Mitzvah is basically some petty, preteen madness done in a respectfully Semitic fashion. When they’re not learning how to be proper Jewish folk (SNL weirdo Sarah Sherman kills it as their “cool” rabbi), Sunny and the rest of the underaged cast play it predictably puerile, trying to act like adults when they’re still trying to figure out how to be teenagers. They may be Jewish, but they’re still self-involved brats, hoping that their bar/bat mitzvahs will be awesome events, complete with in-demand, balding party-starter DJ Schmuley (Ido Mosseri). But director Sammi Cohen, who did the queer, teen Hulu rom-com Crush last year, takes Alison Peck’s script and gives us another endearing story of young girls who love each other – just not in that way.
Mitzvah plays more like a preteen Edge of Seventeen, with Sunny’s harried heroine going through a whole lotta mishegoss before ultimately realizing it’s not all about her. Even if you’re not Jewish, You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah will take you back to those bad ol’ days when anxiety fueled your adolescent brain, keeping you obsessed with being cool and popular instead of focusing on the things – and the people – that kept you fun and happy.
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“You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitvah” streams Friday on Netflix.
