Review: Sometimes I Think About Dying

Premiering at last year’s Sundance and opening in limited release while people are packing theaters at this year’s event in Park City, Sometimes I Think About Dying epitomizes the quirky style the festival is known for. Yet director Rachel Lambert hasn’t made a movie that is odd just for the sake of it; this gently moving little gem is replete with subtle performances and well-drawn characters, making everyone on screen feel real. Sometimes I Think About Dying is a low-key, minor-key romance in need of human attention as much as its lonely protagonist—and unfortunately just as likely to be overlooked in favor of flashier entertainment.

Fran (Daisy Ridley) works diligently to a soundtrack of muffled conversations and distant flushing toilets at her small office in small-town Oregon. Life is happening around her, but she isn’t a part of it. She stands on the outskirts of gatherings, unsure how to engage and desperate for the moment she can escape back to the haven of her tiny cubicle, her well-constructed spreadsheets, and the occasional daydream about her own death.

These reveries would be categorized as intrusive thoughts, that is, if Fran had any desire to stop them. Instead, she cozies up and finds comfort in them. However, the arrival of new coworker Robert (Dave Merheje) also brings her solace, as his gregariousness and warmth begins to show her what she’s been missing by avoiding connections with those around her.

Ridley may have starred in one of Hollywood’s biggest franchises, more known for its special effects than its performances, but she always brought a sense of humanity to the Star Wars universe. In Sometimes I Think About Dying, she offers a restrained, subtle turn. Fran begins with her walls up, but smiles creep in, and Ridley gets to show more emotion as the film progresses. As Robert, Merheje has an affable charm, and it’s easy to see how he is the first person to break through with Fran. Connecting with one person can open up a whole new world, offering possibilities beyond just that one-to-one relationship. Fran’s interactions with Robert don’t just promise a chance at love; they let her see a broader community within her town that has always felt unreachable.

Audiences will likely want to diagnose Fran with a variety of challenges, including autism, social anxiety, and depression, but what’s most important is that she simply struggles to interact with those around her as many introverts do. If Sometimes I Think About Dying had given her a diagnosis, it could have lessened her relatability for some. Instead, it’s easier to identify with Fran’s social difficulties since many people may have felt similarly awkward or isolated at one point in their lives; it’s not a diagnosable condition so much as it is the human condition.

The characters surrounding Fran, especially in her office, are wonderfully average people who have the most mundane, believable conversations. Brief hints (like visible email domain names in shots of computer screens) reveal that they work at a port authority, but it’s unclear — and unimportant — what they actually do, making the inane chit chat and meeting ice breakers feel authentic for anyone who has spent time in an office.

Yet while the bulk of this modest little movie is set in Fran’s office and her equally unassuming home, arresting images — mostly in the shape of Fran’s thoughts of death — punctuate the narrative. Cinematographer Dustin Lane turns Fran’s death scenes on the beach or deep in the forest into eerie art, but he also captures the beauty of Oregon’s bridges, mountains, and water, with shots of the town serving as transitions between scenes. It all looks great, but the audio makes just as significant an impact as the visuals. The score from Dabney Morris is playful, often contrasting with the dark images of Fran’s imagination, and helping to set the darkly comic tone.

With Sometimes I Think About Dying, Lambert has made an earnest film full of humor and humanity that is well worth seeking out. It has its quirks — like many a character-driven indie film before it — but they feel organic to this story and its central character, rather than tacked on simply to get attention. This is a warm, wonderful movie whose emotional impact sneaks up on you.