Friday Movie Pile: March 16, 2018

Movies — our most precious natural resource. Each week the Friday Movie Pile seeks to explain and analyze the new releases, for the betterment of humanity. You’re welcome.


Tomb Raider (PG-13, 1:58)

Plot: Lara Croft (Alicia Vikander), who rides a bicycle for a living, goes in search of her father, who was secretly an adventurer/tomb raider.

Director: Roar Uthaug! That is a very cool name until you find out Roar is just the Norwegian version of Roger.

Stars: Alicia Vikander, Dominic West, Walton Goggins, Daniel Wu

Buzz: This one starts with two strikes against it: movies based on video games have a dismal track record, and so do reboots of bad movies (which the Angelina Jolie Tomb Raiders assuredly were). So far the reviews are right down the middle: 50% are positive at Rotten Tomatoes (with an average score of 5.2/10), while Metacritic has it at 45/100.


Love, Simon (PG-13, 1:49)

Plot: A gay teenage boy (Nick Robinson) has only come out to one person: the anonymous classmate who came out on the school message board. Now the whole school might find out and Simon is freaking.

Director: Greg Berlanti, creator of Everwood, producer of Riverdale, director of Love, Simon

Stars: Nick Robinson, Katherine Langford, Josh Duhamel, Jennifer Garner

Buzz: My review is positive. If you need to know what other people think (why?), 88% of reviews at Rotten Tomatoes are positive (average score: 7.3/10), and Metacritic has the average score at 70/100.


7 Days in Entebbe (PG-13, 1:46)

Plot: This one is BOATS — based on a true story — about a 1976 airline hijacking.

Director: José Padilha, the Brazilian filmmaker behind Elite Squad and the RoboCop remake

Stars: Rosamund Pike, Daniel Brühl, Eddie Marsan

Buzz: Hoo boy — 28% at Rotten Tomatoes, though the average score is 5.3/10, about the same as Tomb Raider. It’s 50/100 at Metacritic — a few OKs, a few nopes, and a whole lot of mehs.


I Can Only Imagine (PG, 1:50)

Plot: Do you know the Christian rock song “I Can Only Imagine,” by the band MercyMe? Well, it’s one of the most-played songs of its genre ever, going back to the time of Jesus. This is the BOATS movie about what inspired the song (the singer had a bad father, I think). Does this mean we’re getting closer to a movie that explains who let the dogs out? I hope so.

Directors: Andrew and Jon Erwin, billed as The Erwin Brothers

Stars: Nobody you’d know in the main roles, but featuring Dennis Quaid as the dad and Cloris Leachman as “Memaw.”

Buzz: The Christian movies tend not to screen for critics, partly because they’re often from smallish distributors who don’t want to spend the money, but mostly because the target audience isn’t making up its mind based on reviews.


Furlough (R, 1:23)

Plot: A troublesome inmate (Melissa Leo) gets a weekend out of prison to see her dying mother, accompanied by a corrections officer (Tessa Thompson) who has to keep her in line.

Director: Laurie Collyer (Sherrybaby)

Stars: Melissa Leo, Tessa Thompson, Whoopi Goldberg, Anna Paquin

Buzz: There are only four reviews posted so far, and they’re all negative, despite the obvious greatness of Melissa Leo and Tessa Thompson.


Journey’s End (R, 1:47)

Plot: Near the end of World War I, a handful of British soldiers ponder their fate from the trenches. Based on a 1928 play by R.C. Sheriff.

Director: Saul Dibb (The Duchess)

Stars: Sam Claflin, Paul Bettany, Asa Butterfield, Stephen Graham, Toby Jones, many other British guys

Buzz: A whopping 96% of reviews at Rotten Tomatoes are positive (average: 7.5/10). Metacritic has it positive-to-mixed at 71/100.


Flower (R, 1:30)

Plot: A teenage girl (Zoey Deutch) adjusts to her oafish new stepbrother (Joey Morgan) while making trouble for a neighbor (Adam Scott) suspected of being a perv.

Director: Max Winkler (son of Henry), who’s directed one feature (Ceremony, 2010) and episodes of several good TV shows (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, New Girl, Lady Dynamite)

Stars: Zoey Deutch, Kathryn Hahn, Adam Scott, Joey Morgan

Buzz: Not bad, sitting at 60% on Rotten Tomatoes (average 6.7/10), 55/100 at Metacritic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6lCdPQUUkM


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Eric D. Snider has been a film critic since 1999, first for newspapers (when those were a thing) and then for the internet. He was born and raised in Southern California, lived in Utah in his 20s, then Portland, now Utah again. He is glad to meet you, probably.

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