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10 Movie Characters Who Are Secretly Gay

Mar 19th, 2019 Eric D. Snider
10 Movie Characters Who Are Secretly Gay

J.K. Rowling continues to make waves by revealing details about the sex lives of her characters that were never mentioned in the books or the movies, but there’s a lot more where that came from. As a gay, I have finely tuned gaydar that extends even to film characters. Here are my latest findings and the clues that led me to them.

10 Movie Characters Who Are Secretly Gay

James Bond

– Noncommittal with women
– Always impeccably dressed
– Highly specific drink order
– Friends are known only by codenames

Superman

– Single, secretive
– Gets nervous when you mention his “friend” Clark Kent
– Immaculate ice palace for vacation home
– The costume, obviously

The Scarecrow

– Actual friend of Dorothy
– Has body issues
– Extremely limber
– Transfixed by Judy Garland’s singing voice

HAL 9000

– Persnickety, sarcastic
– Won’t admit he made a mistake
– When unsure what to say, sings a song
– Uses dying words to create drama

Indiana Jones

– Disappoints his father
– Into whips
– Freudian thing about snakes
– Is surprised to learn he has a son

The shark in Jaws

– Smooth skin
– Holds a grudge
– Persecuted just for doing what comes naturally
– Obsessed with seamen

Tigger

– Best friend is a bear
– Exhausting at parties
– Thinks he’s the only one of his kind
– Has a song about what “tops” and “bottoms” are made out of

Woody

– Dresses like a cowboy
– Hides true self from best friend Andy
– Threatened by arrival of more traditionally “masculine” competitor
– Has stock collection of catchphrases he repeats

Gollum

– Changed his name when he got famous
– Obsessed with a piece of jewelry
– Thinks a hobbit who’s maybe 20 pounds overweight is “fat”
– Intimidated by Ian McKellen

Rick Blaine

– Evasive about his past
– Pretends to be cynical but is actually a softie
– Has a “beautiful friendship” with a man in uniform
– Broke up with Ingrid Bergman to open a piano bar


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Eric D. Snider

Eric D. Snider

Eric D. Snider has been a film critic since 1999, first for newspapers (when those were a thing) and then for the internet. He was born and raised in Southern California, lived in Utah in his 20s, then Portland, now Utah again. He is glad to meet you, probably.

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