Solo: A Star Wars Story opens in a few days, and everyone is supremely excited because making a prequel to Star Wars is a slam-dunk idea that can’t fail. Most fans are content to sit back and wait for the film to open, but true fans know that waiting is for “nerf herders.” Secrecy is at an all-time high at Lucasfilm, but fortunately my barber, Jean, snuck into the screening at the Cannes Film Festival and gave me the scoop. Here, then, are the 20 most shocking Solo spoilers that you can start getting mad online about ASAP:
In a nice bit of synergy, one scene finds the Millennium Falcon’s crew barging into a Denny’s at 2 am, where they absolutely refuse to order anything from the special Solo menu. Chewie ruins the bathroom.
Newcomer Paul Bettany is magnetic as Dryden Vos, a mysterious character who’s prone to say “it doesn’t get any Bettany than that, baby!” at the end of scenes, which come to think of it must just be the end of takes that the filmmakers decided to leave in.
The film’s visual effects look spectacular, silencing naysayers who thought that they wouldn’t be finished in time for the Memorial Day release. The breathtaking train heist sequence was always meant to be finished using pieces of cardboard to hearken back to Star Wars’ practical effects beginnings.
Wow! This sounds like it’ll be the greatest Star Wars yet. As the fans say every year, “May the 25th be with you!”