Josh Bell
In this week’s low-profile VOD releases, grieving women travel the multiverse and conjure a monster, corrupt cops engage in corrupt behavior, and lesbians make ill-advised romantic overtures to a DJ and a vampire.
The Night Is Young (VOD April 18): It’s awkward enough for lesbian content creator Nora (co-writer Sarah McGuire) to bring her brother Jake (Jake Jackson) along to document her dates, but things get even more uncomfortable when Nora’s latest meet-cute turns out to be a vampire. That sounds like the premise for a comedy, but McGuire and director/co-writer Patrick Rea deliver a surprisingly gruesome horror movie following the lighthearted set-up. The tonal inconsistency makes it difficult to fully engage with the movie, and it doesn’t help that Rea strains to stick with the found-footage format, which fits for a dating influencer but loses its purpose as the story gets more intense. Bloodsucker Amelia (Valeri Bates) hits on Nora after she’s been stood up at a bar, but they barely have time to get acquainted before they’re being pursued by a group of vampire hunters (who conveniently have their own videographer). McGuire and Bates have strong chemistry, but The Night Is Young doesn’t entirely work as either an unlikely romance or a gritty vampire movie. Grade: C+
The Killgrin (VOD and select theaters April 25): It’s become a cliché for horror movies to reflect personal trauma, but there’s something mildly distasteful about the way that writer-director Joanna Tsanis turns her protagonist’s depression and anxiety into a literal deadly monster. Tsanis spends far too long leaving the grief-stricken Miranda (Konstantina Mantelos) in a state of uncertainty, and there’s no catharsis to her eventual understanding of the dark presence that seems to be killing people around her. Following the suicide of her boyfriend, Miranda initially believes that she’s being stalked by her abusive ex Damien (Ted Lasso’s Cristo Fernández). Although Miranda spends much of her time in group therapy, this isn’t a movie about dealing with domestic violence or PTSD, and it’s tough to tell what exactly Tsanis is trying to say. Cool name aside, the belatedly appearing Killgrin looks quite silly — like a bloated member of Slipknot — and both its function and abilities are so nebulous that it’s essentially meaningless, much like the muddled movie that bears its name. Grade: C
Mob Cops (VOD and select theaters April 25): The Wikipedia page about the true story that inspired this desultory crime thriller is both more coherent and more exciting than director Danny A. Abeckaser’s film. A closing title card asserts (in all caps and with poor syntax) that it was “the worst case of corruption in the history of NYPD,” but Abeckaser and screenwriter Kosta Kondilopoulos fail to convey the significance of a pair of New York City police detectives (played by Jeremy Luke and David Arquette) secretly working for local mobsters. It’s the standard stuff of dozens of Goodfellas-style crime dramas, complete with competing stilted voiceovers and numerous mustaches of varying authenticity. Abeckaser himself gives the movie’s worst performance as the detective investigating the corrupt cops, who spent the 1980s assaulting, robbing, and killing at the behest of their criminal benefactors. Told in multiple timelines, the plot is needlessly confusing, and the parameters of the investigation are unclear. The actors put on exaggerated Noo Yawk accents, but nothing can make the cartoonish dialogue convincing. Grade: D+
Egghead & Twinkie (VOD April 29): His name may come first in the title, but Egghead (Louis Tomeo) is definitely in sidekick position to his best friend and crush object Twinkie (Sabrina Jie-A-Fa). He learns this the hard way when his attempt at seduction ends in Twinkie revealing that she’s a lesbian. So in sturdy teen-comedy tradition, the two recent high school graduates instead embark on a road trip, to meet the hipster DJ that Twinkie has been flirting with online. Obviously things don’t go according to plan, and while Egghead and Twinkie grow closer, it’s a fully platonic intimacy. The leads are charming, and Asahi Hirano adds some appealing affability as the goofy waitress Twinkie doesn’t realize is perfect for her. Writer-director Sarah Kambe Holland augments the story with animated touches that are sometimes too cutesy, and it’s not surprising that the movie has its origins in a viral TikTok campaign. Still, it’s exuberant and sweet and bursting with the endearingly clumsy earnestness of its main characters. Grade: B
Ingress (VOD April 29): Rarely has the multiverse been this sappy or boring, as winery owner Riley (writer-director Rachel Noll James) uses her apparent powers of interdimensional travel for cheesy romantic fulfillment with a creepy weirdo. That’s author and borderline cult leader Daniel (Christopher Clark), who claims to channel an otherworldly entity he calls Lucas (voiced by Tim DeKay). He and Riley connect after the death of Riley’s husband and the return of her periodic shifts into alternate universes (as represented by rudimentary shimmering effects). It takes an hour of the lethargic movie for them to finally lay out their respective paranormal experiences, and another hour for them to find the personal connection that they’re both searching for. In the meantime, extraneous flashbacks and ponderous silences abound, as James plods through the monotony of the characters’ daily lives. Any movie that opens with the dictionary definition of its title sets itself up for a grand, meaningful statement, but Ingress can’t even define its own emotional stakes. Grade: C-
