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Eric D. Snider's 2020 Sundance Diary

Feb 1st, 2020 Eric D. Snider

MOVIES:Black BearBoys StateDream HorseEmaThe FatherThe GloriasHerselfHis HouseJumboKajillionaireMinariMiss AmericanaNever Rarely Sometimes AlwaysNine DaysPossessorRelicSpreeSummertimeTeslaTimeUncle FrankWendyZola Day 1: Thursday, Jan. 23 Gird your loins (if you have them; I do not presume to...

More Children's Games to Turn into Movies

Aug 21st, 2019 Eric D. Snider

A movie about grown-ups playing hide and seek is out now, hot on the heels of last year's movies about people people playing tag and truth or dare. Naturally, one wonders: What other childhood games could be turned into movies? I took a trip down memory lane and came up with these beloved pastimes...

The Inessential Matt Helm

Aug 13th, 2019 Jeremy Herbert

In Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood, Sharon Tate gleefully catches a showing of her biggest movie yet — The Wrecking Crew. It’s a great scene. Too many people are talking about that already. So let’s talk about The Wrecking Crew and the proto-Austin Powers franchise it...

EXCLUSIVE: Future <i>Fast & Furious</i> Spinoffs Revealed!

EXCLUSIVE: Future Fast & Furious Spinoffs Revealed!

Aug 5th, 2019 Bill Bria

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw is a hit, and it’s clear that the Fast & Furious franchise has no intention of putting on the brakes. If you wonder what the future holds for the nearly 20-year-old series, wonder no longer! My intrepid barber, Jean, “got access to” Universal...

PSA: How to Tell the Sentient Doll Movies Apart

Jun 27th, 2019 Eric D. Snider

It has escaped few moviegoers' notice that within the last week three movies about sentient dolls have been released: Toy Story 4, Child's Play, and Annabelle Comes Home. Given the chaotic nature of multiplexes and the incompetence of parents, it's easy to see how confusion may arise. And so, in...

EXCLUSIVE: An Interview with 2020 Presidential Candidate Godzilla

May 29th, 2019 Bill Bria

Sanders, Warren, Buttigieg, Biden, O’Rourke, Harris, Yang. Uh ... I wanna say Islee? Is that one? The list of Democratic candidates for the 2020 presidential election continues to grow. Now one more public figure has decided to run for office, and he’s a doozy. Godzilla, the 65-year-old strange...

Every Sex Dream I’ve Had About the Pokémon in <i>Detective Pikachu</i>, Ranked

Every Sex Dream I’ve Had About the Pokémon in Detective Pikachu, Ranked

May 28th, 2019 Davey Peppers

My therapist told me the best way to process my many sex dreams about the realistic CGI Pokémon from Pokémon: Detective Pikachu was to write about them and free myself from my shame. If Emma Watson can fall in love with a bear-goat-man in Beauty and the Beast, why can’t I enjoy fantasizing...

'High on the Hog' and Other Movie Pitches Based on Common Sayings

Apr 24th, 2019 Eric D. Snider

The description of a new film recently caught our attention. The movie is called High on the Hog, and the Los Angeles Times' logline was: "A hog farmer and his cadre of attractive young women defend their marijuana-growing operation against federal agents." Do you get it? "High on the Hog"? They...

EXCLUSIVE: Check Out This Awesome Parody Trailer for 'True Detective Pikachu'!

Apr 23rd, 2019 Eric D. Snider

Crooked Marquee is thrilled to be the EXCLUSIVE host of a brilliant parody video in which regular CM contributor Bill Bria plays a significant role: that of Ash Ketchum, opposite Tommy Kang's Pikachu, who in this imagining is Matthew McConaughey's character from HBO's "True Detective." (His...

Updates on the Marvel Cinematic Universe from Bill's Mom

Apr 17th, 2019 Bill Bria

If you’re looking for a recap of the Marvel Cinematic Universe facts you absolutely need to know before Avengers: Endgame, then face front, true believer: Here comes my mom, Lee Bria, to once again save the day. An MCU fan for several years now, she’s back to finish what she started last year,...

The Pitch Meeting for Dumbo

Apr 3rd, 2019 Eric D. Snider

The latest film to earn the distinction of being #1 at the box office and universally disliked is Dumbo, from Disney, the studio that's usually responsible for highly successful movies that everybody hates. How did this happen? Well, we snuck into the Disney offices a few years ago and planted a...

Other Dumb Movie Petitions and Kickstarter Campaigns

Mar 27th, 2019 Jeremy Herbert

Since the dawn of that guy who tried to cut all women out of The Last Jedi, we’ve entered a new era of fandom. An era of thankless course correction, where anyone with a childhood sculpted by a certain piece of art gets to tell the artist how it really belongs to them, and they have notes. The...

10 Movie Characters Who Are Secretly Gay

Mar 19th, 2019 Eric D. Snider

J.K. Rowling continues to make waves by revealing details about the sex lives of her characters that were never mentioned in the books or the movies, but there's a lot more where that came from. As a gay, I have finely tuned gaydar that extends even to film characters. Here are my latest findings...

<i>The Jungle Book</i>: A Perfect Soundtrack to Any Drug Addiction

The Jungle Book: A Perfect Soundtrack to Any Drug Addiction

Mar 12th, 2019 Joe Blevins

It was one of Walt Disney’s great disappointments that Fantasia (1940) under-performed during its original release, and when it did find an audience, in the 1960s, it probably wasn’t the one Walt would have imagined: people on drugs. Critic Danny Peary documented this strange phenomenon in...

Answers to Your Burning <i>Captain Marvel</i> Questions!

Answers to Your Burning Captain Marvel Questions!

Mar 11th, 2019 Eric D. Snider

OK, Marvelinos! You've seen Captain Marvel and reveled in its 1990s awesomeness! (Remember how everyone back then had cats?) But you're still wondering about a few things -- and that's where we come in! Buckle up and keep reading as we answer your burning questions about the latest entry in the...

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